My 2 o’clock Babble

Life’s been rolling past me lately, quicker than I’d like to admit. It seems like only yesterday I was putting on my cap ‘n gown, adjusting my high-heel shoes and taking hundreds of pictures with friends and family to commemorate the single greatest moment [to date] of my life. Oh well, what should have been. I guess I never pictured the single most important day of my life [so far] to float by so quickly, almost like none of it actually happened. It all seemed so surreal, like a reoccurring distant dream, where I’d wake up the following day, sitting in class bored out of my mind, or hanging out with friends downtown.

 

Press fast-forward a couple of months and you’ll find me to be a completely different person. I’ll tell you what, getting a job and supporting yourself is extremely humbling [even in a town you're somewhat familiar with]. It really places value upon the important things and the not so important things. It also places value on certain friendships of mine. While I’ve made a bunch of new friends since starting this new chapter in my life, I’ve also disconnected a few, which I’ve uncontrollably left behind in the previous chapter. I’m honestly not so sad to see some of these friendships go, and others I wish we had more time [and no, I don’t need wiseasses guessing as to what I’m getting at because you have absolutely no idea unless you’re inside my head]. But as with anything, life goes on. We live, learn and hopefully retain what has been taught.

 

Since stepping foot into the adult world I’ve learned that no one will take you seriously unless you take the intuitive to take yourself seriously. I’ve had to do some serious revamping on my persona to make this vision into a reality. Also, take everything with a grain of salt. You’ll come across dozens of critics (with no credibility) throughout your life, and people are always going to tell you what they think you should do, how you should feel, what you should believe in, what you should say etc. In the end though, it is ultimately up to you to use your better judgment to weed out the unusable information.

 

Also, people lie. Everyone lies [at some point in their lives], but everyone’s reasons for doing so differ from their own personal benefit, to intentionally hurting those that they love. You have to learn when and when it is not appropriate to lie and how to tell when someone is lying. Generally though, lying [excessively] comes back to haunt you. Most importantly you should never lie to yourself, because you’re about the most gullible person you know [when it comes to your own lies].

 

Without realizing it, someone looks up to you. Someone [or some people] think you’re amazing. Try to set a positive example for not only them, but yourself. There’s nothing more rewarding than hearing someone say [overhearing or hearing from another source] that they admire or look-up to you. Regardless of age difference, you should feel honored.

 

I apologize for becoming extremely philosophical all of a sudden, but having lunch with Damian [a high school friend of mine] really put a lot of the random shattered windows in my life into perspective and that maybe I should be more proactive into fixing said windows. Life’s what you make it; no one can truly control that but you.

 

Anyway, lunch went over very well and I’m glad we got to catch up [even if it was in the horribleness that is Greenville’s mall]. Hopefully this won’t be the last time we hang-out for a while. In other news, I’ve started to hibernate in segments [i.e. my 12+ hours of sleep last night]. A little early I know, but with me going to Mexico this week and next, there’ll be no time for mindless slumber. Since I don’t know when I’ll be going back, I’ll have to make the absolute most of it while I’m down there. I don’t mind being a little tired, if I can experience absolute paradise.

 

Hmm…well 2.5 days until sunny vacation. Let’s see if I can make it there without losing my natural mind.

 

 

Crazy vs. Crazy part 1

I’ve learned that you’ll meet some of the craziest people while in college…

I graduated this past may and I’m still astonished, however, it takes a special breed of folks to beat the crazies I met while in college.  

I won’t disclose where I work (no, not because I’m afraid of being fired), but because these people need to go into hiding, and quickly before causing any further damage on this backwoods southern town, or worse the well-known universe as we know it!   I just started this job about a month and ½ ago, and I’ve never been through more Ups and downs with my emotions than I have at this place. I’m sure my friends and family think I’m absolutely insane and or bi-polar, and well after working at this place for the past month; I wouldn’t blame them for thinking otherwise. Working here will drive even the sane absolutely bonkers. And here I was thinking it was a joke when I was told, “This place will drive you to drink,” on my first day, nonetheless. I know realize they were being quite serious.  

I work in a small office for a non-profit organization as an Administrate Assistant. In so many words my job is to “assist” everyone in the office (we have an office of about 7 people plus about 3 random interns) with various projects and tasks as needed (the interns actually get to help me, when their here). Seems simple enough, right? I figured by getting this job straight out of college it would be a smooth transition into the “real world” and easy to balance while working on a master’s. Boy was I wrong! Although I work in an office with 7 other people  (all about 20+ years my senior) and those three interns (all around the age of 20), at times they make my life a living hell because their all OCD and have horrible communication skills… minus the interns, who just sit there, scanning documents all day.  

I’ll isolate one situation for this entry (I could write a novel on every situation combined though)…   It’s like this….one of my co-workers is a 50-something divorcee straight from the west coast…so obviously she thinks she has a one up on all of us because, “we’re slow east-coast southerners” with a “slow  way of life”. She talks down to everyone (and talks a mile a minute) and becomes highly offended if you try to tell her anything she’s done is anything less than perfect. She’s very abrasive as well as cocky and I sense little sincerity in any of her mildly nice things she’ll occasionally say… those things being along the lines of, “nice shirt,” or “nice hair cut,” “cute shoes,” Which typically means the opposite, because she talks out of the side of her neck.  

I believe the one thing she does that annoys me more than anything is verbal digging. My definition of verbal digging is best explained through a situation. Sayit’s Monday morning after somewhat of a busy weekend and uppity co-worker walks in and says to you (while you sit there at your desk already pissed at the world because it is Monday morning and there’s no coffee):   “How was your weekend” to that you respond (without giving away too many details because you are trying to be professional and or keep your privacy):  

 “Wonderful, it was very relaxing.” Uppity co-worker stops and slams her hands on your desk, demanding to know a string of details like, “where did you go, what did you do, who did you do it with, what time was it, what was the weather like, what shoes did you have on, What’s x divided by y and squared the second power, and can I borrow $10.”   You’re already tired mind becomes overloaded with questions, you become a little uneasy and start rambling off what you did that weekend (and some things you probably didn’t, but since you’re being put on the spot you start rambling), telling her you went shopping with your mother for undergarments, only to run into your old friend, or you went to your friend’s house and got attacked by their cat…you know, random stuff… she nods and criticizes you for your hobbies, interests and going shopping with your mother (because she wears last fall’s clothing).

“Oh? You like going to eat at Red Lobster? Sea food will give you sars, you drove to VA? I’m surprised your p.o.s car made it there…Oh you got attacked by a cat, cat’s don’t like black folks…You went on a date with said guy,  oh, he’s probably gay and is probably already cheating on you with your best male friend…etc”.   It is enough to drive any reasonably decent person insane, right? Right.

The other night I had dinner with a good friend of mine (I’m giving you a shout out douche, holla back), and he probably gave me the funniest, yet most useful advice I’ve gotten regarding my job yet and here is what he said as follows:   “The best way to deal with a crazy person like that, is to say something crazy back, like you set someone’s house on fire or you planted dead puppies in your neighbors yard, or you slashed all four of your professors tires for giving you a C minus on your last paper, when you knew goodness well you deserved that C+ (so ok, I can’t remember specifically what he said, but it was along these lines).”   I haven’t quite tried this tactic yet, but come Monday I’ll have to give it a go…maybe if I tell her something crazy enough she’ll stay out of my business, and generally leave me alone. She’s kind of like a dog, she smells fear!  

 It’s not that my life is really all that private, I just don’t feel like talking about what color shoes my friends and I had on while going to see, “sex in the city,” Friday night.   If anyone has any suggestions on just what I should tell my co-worker come Monday, holla back…I’ll be sure to let you know of the outcome.

PS: excuse the format (the words running off the page, I will fix it promptly)

 

 

 

 

 

Music Speaks

If I had to choose one thing that I couldn’t live without, hands down I would choose music. Music has gotten me through some of my darkest days, followed me through my proudest moments, reminds me of the good times, bad times and young times etc.. From morning to night music plays some sort of role in my life, rather I am listening to it, singing it, playing it or watching someone play it. Music tells a story and often speaks to people more than they think and if I go a day without it, I feel empty.

 

 I thought about that the other day while watching a friend of mine play a gig in this quirky little tea café’ downtown. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from him or the gig, seeing as how the only thing I had ever heard him sing had been Michael McDonald’s ‘I keep forgettin’, (at our weekly trivia night and it was a joke). But as I sat there listening to him seriously sing and play his own original work (on guitar and harmonica), I took a glance around the room a few times. Everyone in that room dug him. Some of those people probably weren’t even there to specifically see him, but when they stopped in and saw him performing they became locked in a trans. I don’t know about everyone else in there, but a lot of his songs reminded me of past relationships gone wrong, love interests, traveling, holidays and so on. It took me back to specific times in my life. It commanded my entire attention.

 

 Then it came to me. Rock Stars or Musicians shall I say, are some of the most interesting people you’ll ever meet. Now I’m not talking about Brittany Spears or Milli Vanilli (didn’t think I knew who that was, did you), but realmusicians. Luther Vandross, Maroon 5, Sara Barellies, Ne-yo, Mariah Carey, (…fill in the space with your favorite band here…) etc. These people have the unique gift of communicating with their audiences through song, rather it be sad or happy, they connect with their audiences all over the world, from all walks of life.

 I guess that’s why growing up I’ve always been automatically connected with other musicians. Being in band in school through-out much of my life has given me that advantage of expressing myself in other ways besides words.

 

 Outside of the tea gig, I hadn’t really talked to my friend about anything outside of the here and now. He just seemed like a typical happy-go-lucky nice kid that goes to school and occasionally likes to mimic/quote music and television shows. Almost as if I had only met his outer layer. As a musician, that kid sheds light on a lot more than what’s on the surface and becomes 3-D (figuratively speaking of course). It’s like he was telling the audience why he is the way he is. What’s occurred in his life to mold and construct who he is as a person.

 

 My point here is that music says what words cannot. It’s that happy medium for times when words just won’t do. I mean my friend could have just told me, “Yeah, I had this girlfriend who cheated on me,” but hearing that through a song places more emphasis on the situation and the emotion involved. Music conducts some sort of mood or feeling deep down inside of you, and often times helps you relate to a similar time frame in your life.

 

 Music always has been, currently is and always will be a part of my life.

 

 PS: Check out the website to hear some of the great music I described from that gig:  http://personal.ecu.edu/DMT0925/

 

 

 

 

 

The Conventions of Blogging

I started blogging in the fall of 2005, when several friends of mine shared their blogs with me (ironically these were also the same friends who introduced me to facebook in the previous year, against my own free will, but that’s for another entry).

 

Anyway, my initial thoughts on blogging were, “what the hell do I write about?” and “what’s the point in this?” As an English major (and a writer) this should have been simple enough, eh? But no, it actually took me a couple of go’s to, “get into the swing of things,” so to speak. I just couldn’t get used to “telling the world my story”. I’m naturally shy, and leave a lot of things about myself unexplained (intentionally). After battling a few demons, I started making unorganized, run-on sentences just listing my days in chronological order (as many would do in a diary). As time passed, these blog entries became more and more personal and reflected my general outlook on life.

 

Recently though, I’ve branched away from exposing too much of my personal life and decided to start a blog dedicated to all of the random thoughts and questions that go on inside of my head. I’m not sure how interesting these thoughts will be to other readers, but it’s worth a go.

 

Out of the blue last night, I started this blog and proudly showed a friend [who’s opinion I generally value] my first entry. To this he began to tell me the “conventions” of blogging and that I needed to read some book of his in order to “do it properly” (This coming from the person who does not blog and only reads them at his leisure —Start blogging already, kid). After thinking about it for a while, I wonder, how would you write a book on blogging? What is there an idiot’s guide to blogging? Oh and damn-it, just googled it and sadly a book of this nature does indeed exist:

 

idiot's guide to blogging

 

 

 

I’m page-breaking in the middle of an idea to prove a point here—I’ve never been all too “conventional”. Just ask any of my friends, family members, co-workers….I have a fairly unique way of going through/viewing life, however, I do get things accomplished. I’m not sure what a book could teach me, that I can’t take time to learn on my own. (I’ve always been the person to put things together without reading the directions). It’s kind of like having a book to teach you how to properly enjoy creative writing, art or music. Those aren’t skills that can be learned, but more less talents that people just naturally have the passion for. Some of the greatest things you’ll learn in life can’t be taught by a book.

 

Think about it…When you learned how to ride a bike, did your parents [or other teacher] pull a book from their ass and start rambling off instructions? Like, put your foot there, hold your hands there, shift your body at such-and-such angle, look forward…and don’t forget to breathe! Haha no, I would hope not, because if so, boy were you sheltered! No, the way I learned was I had my dad stand over me, yelling at me to use my common sense and pay attention to what he was showing me and low and behold, after hitting that pavement one too many times, I eventually got the hang of it. You see, like riding a bike, blogging is one of those, ‘learn as you go’ things. It’s kind of trail and error. You write and learn. You learn as you write.

 

Some people mainly blog about their lives, others blog about politics, pop-culture, their pets, their jobs, children etc. Blogging to me is a form of expression and cannot be taught. If I had to list conventions, I don’t even think I could go that far. Aside from of course, staying true to yourself, because everyone’s goals in blogging are different.

 

So in closing, I challenge you to blog [without the use of a book] & see where it leads you. Good luck & have fun.

Really, America

Since when did a fist tap become code for a terrorist? I bet if McCain had fist-tapped his wife, he wouldn’t end up on the cover of a magazine in a turban. More to come on this later.

Living to be 100

I’ve made it a daily routine recently to check out Aol’s home page for the latest bizarre or insignificant news bits straight off the morning press. You see, Aol accidentally became my home page when I began using Aim some months back, and since I’m too lazy to change it, I read that news worthy woo-ha until my brain becomes full of worthless knowledge, and then I can tell friends and neighbors, “hey you wanna know the worst way to eat a banana?” or my personal favorite, “what bean to eat to raise your sex drive.” Sure, all of this is random [and at times unaccredited information], but it passes away the time away, where otherwise my brain would sit idle.

Anyway, while on my “lunch break” I checked out Aol’s home page to find out that the world’s oldest blogger has passed away: http://news.aol.com/story/_a/worlds-oldest-blogger-dies-at-108/20080714095509990001.

Apparently she was like 108, which in my books is pretty old. First off that’s pretty awesome that someone of that age could even use a computer well enough to blog. Amen to that! Now if only I could get my [soon to be] 52-year-old father to follow suit!

Outside of her blogging skills though, just living that long is amazing. I’m not one to ponder on death too often, but when I think into the future as far as being elderly, my mind really doesn’t leave the 60’s. I guess in my life time none of my immediate family members have surpassed their late 70’s yet. I don’t know too many 80, 90 or 100-year-olds.

But wouldn’t it be cool to live to be that old and be semi-healthy? Think of all the news coverage you’d get every time you had another birthday? Think about how much wiser than everybody you’d be [or should be]. If I were that old I say’d some of the most random off the wall crap and no one would do anything about it because they’d say, “oh she’s just really old, just let it go.” I’d probably be down right mean to some people, all at the expense of my own humor.

Then again being that old does has it’s downfalls I suppose [weakened health & immune system, loss of one’s entire family/friends etc.] A lot can happen with in a lifetime, much less a century. Think back to 100 years from now….why, cars were just being ivented! Women didn’t even have the right to vote yet! It would be amazing [and at times scary] to watch the world change so much!

Being 100+ or even making it to 90-something would be a big accomplishment, that’s for sure.

This one’s dedicated to the world’s oldest blogger. May she rest in peace.