I’ve learned that you’ll meet some of the craziest people while in college…
I graduated this past may and I’m still astonished, however, it takes a special breed of folks to beat the crazies I met while in college.
I won’t disclose where I work (no, not because I’m afraid of being fired), but because these people need to go into hiding, and quickly before causing any further damage on this backwoods southern town, or worse the well-known universe as we know it! I just started this job about a month and ½ ago, and I’ve never been through more Ups and downs with my emotions than I have at this place. I’m sure my friends and family think I’m absolutely insane and or bi-polar, and well after working at this place for the past month; I wouldn’t blame them for thinking otherwise. Working here will drive even the sane absolutely bonkers. And here I was thinking it was a joke when I was told, “This place will drive you to drink,” on my first day, nonetheless. I know realize they were being quite serious.
I work in a small office for a non-profit organization as an Administrate Assistant. In so many words my job is to “assist” everyone in the office (we have an office of about 7 people plus about 3 random interns) with various projects and tasks as needed (the interns actually get to help me, when their here). Seems simple enough, right? I figured by getting this job straight out of college it would be a smooth transition into the “real world” and easy to balance while working on a master’s. Boy was I wrong! Although I work in an office with 7 other people (all about 20+ years my senior) and those three interns (all around the age of 20), at times they make my life a living hell because their all OCD and have horrible communication skills… minus the interns, who just sit there, scanning documents all day.
I’ll isolate one situation for this entry (I could write a novel on every situation combined though)… It’s like this….one of my co-workers is a 50-something divorcee straight from the west coast…so obviously she thinks she has a one up on all of us because, “we’re slow east-coast southerners” with a “slow way of life”. She talks down to everyone (and talks a mile a minute) and becomes highly offended if you try to tell her anything she’s done is anything less than perfect. She’s very abrasive as well as cocky and I sense little sincerity in any of her mildly nice things she’ll occasionally say… those things being along the lines of, “nice shirt,” or “nice hair cut,” “cute shoes,” Which typically means the opposite, because she talks out of the side of her neck.
I believe the one thing she does that annoys me more than anything is verbal digging. My definition of verbal digging is best explained through a situation. Sayit’s Monday morning after somewhat of a busy weekend and uppity co-worker walks in and says to you (while you sit there at your desk already pissed at the world because it is Monday morning and there’s no coffee): “How was your weekend” to that you respond (without giving away too many details because you are trying to be professional and or keep your privacy):
“Wonderful, it was very relaxing.” Uppity co-worker stops and slams her hands on your desk, demanding to know a string of details like, “where did you go, what did you do, who did you do it with, what time was it, what was the weather like, what shoes did you have on, What’s x divided by y and squared the second power, and can I borrow $10.” You’re already tired mind becomes overloaded with questions, you become a little uneasy and start rambling off what you did that weekend (and some things you probably didn’t, but since you’re being put on the spot you start rambling), telling her you went shopping with your mother for undergarments, only to run into your old friend, or you went to your friend’s house and got attacked by their cat…you know, random stuff… she nods and criticizes you for your hobbies, interests and going shopping with your mother (because she wears last fall’s clothing).
“Oh? You like going to eat at Red Lobster? Sea food will give you sars, you drove to VA? I’m surprised your p.o.s car made it there…Oh you got attacked by a cat, cat’s don’t like black folks…You went on a date with said guy, oh, he’s probably gay and is probably already cheating on you with your best male friend…etc”. It is enough to drive any reasonably decent person insane, right? Right.
The other night I had dinner with a good friend of mine (I’m giving you a shout out douche, holla back), and he probably gave me the funniest, yet most useful advice I’ve gotten regarding my job yet and here is what he said as follows: “The best way to deal with a crazy person like that, is to say something crazy back, like you set someone’s house on fire or you planted dead puppies in your neighbors yard, or you slashed all four of your professors tires for giving you a C minus on your last paper, when you knew goodness well you deserved that C+ (so ok, I can’t remember specifically what he said, but it was along these lines).” I haven’t quite tried this tactic yet, but come Monday I’ll have to give it a go…maybe if I tell her something crazy enough she’ll stay out of my business, and generally leave me alone. She’s kind of like a dog, she smells fear!
It’s not that my life is really all that private, I just don’t feel like talking about what color shoes my friends and I had on while going to see, “sex in the city,” Friday night. If anyone has any suggestions on just what I should tell my co-worker come Monday, holla back…I’ll be sure to let you know of the outcome. 
PS: excuse the format (the words running off the page, I will fix it promptly)
jelainesays
